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“What We Do in the Shadows” is a popular comedy, and it features a drab side character, Colin Robinson. As an energy vampire on Staten Island, Colin lives a mundane life feeding on human energy at an office. He is a roommate to several traditional vampires.
A comment on our YouTube channel encouraged me to make a D&D 5e build for Colin Robinson, energy vampire. After a fit of laughter, I wrote down the suggestion. Today I cash in on that idea. Let’s see how we can play as Colin Robinson (or any dull energy vampire) in D&D 5e!
Colin Robinson’s Psychic Vampire Powers
Here is our shopping list for building Colin Robinson as a D&D 5e player character:
- Feed on psychic energy, draining words
- Emotion manipulation
- Empathetic senses
- Shapeshifting (gecko)
- Levitation
- Agelessness
- 100-year lifespan and expiration, followed by baby rebirth
- Fire, bludgeoning, lightning resistance
- Weak to siren charms
- Mysterious origins
- Trolling on the internet
When Colin gains social influence to force others to listen to him, such as becoming their boss, he gains new powers:
- Flight
- Enhanced physical strength (the power of a thousand cowboys)
- Self-replication
- Telekinesis
- The ability to drink and regurgitate liquids from just his mind
- The ability to manipulate the life force from plants
- Power words (drain someone by merely acknowledging them)
Character Race – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
Choose the Dhampir lineage, and pick the hunger option of psychic energy. Reflavor Vampiric Bite as if you’re whispering in someone’s ear. You can start as a human since Colin appears human, but the Dhampir has the energy vampire vibe (obviously).
Character Class – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
Colin Robinson will focus on the Wizard class with a three-level dip into Cleric. The Wizard subclass will be Enchantment. The Cleric subclass will be Grave Domain.
I choose the Enchanter for Colin because the subclass features ring true. Hypnotic Gaze sounds exactly like Colin boring someone into incapacitation. Enchantment is also my favorite Wizard subclass.
The three levels of Cleric will give Colin medium armor, theme-relevant spells (see below), and some useful features. Circle of Mortality is useful because Colin doesn’t like to kill his victims; he can’t drain energy from corpses. Eyes of the Grave helps him detect other energy vampires who invade his territory. Channel Divinity: Path to the Grave can be flavored as him talking to someone in such an energy-draining way that they can’t help but die from the next batch of damage they suffer.
Spell Selection – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
Feeding on psychic and emotional energy is the primary focus. Before we go through other powers, here are spells that can be flavored as Colin siphons energy to feed himself:
- Vampiric Touch (awkward touch)
- Enervate (feed)
- Hypnotic Pattern (boredom flash)
- Sickening Radiance (this conflict could’ve been an email)
Other powers as spells:
- Calm Emotions (emotion manipulation) – Bard/Cleric/Redemption/Archfey
- Detect Thoughts (empathetic senses) – Bard/Sorcerer/Wizard/GOO
- Telekinesis – Sorcerer/Wizard/GOO
- Simulacrum (self-replication) – Wizard
- Create or Destroy Water (drink and regurgitate liquids from just his mind) – Cleric/Druid/Open Sea/Fathomless
- Levitate – Sorcerer/Wizard/Artificer
- Sending (trolling on the internet) – Bard/Cleric/Wizard/Peace/GOO
- Tenser’s Transformation (enhanced physical strength) – Wizard
- Fly – Sorcerer/Warlock/Wizard/Artificer
- Polymorph (shapeshifting) – Bard/Druid/Sorcerer/Wizard/Trickery
- Mirror Image (duplicates) – Sorcerer/Warlock/Wizard/Trickery/Land (Coast)/Armorer
- The “Power Word” spells (his words drain people)
- Clone (rebirth at death)
Feats – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
Any feat that I recommend for Wizards would suit Colin. I like these quick-and-easy choices:
- Fey Touched
- Telekinetic
- Shadow Touched
- Alert
- Lucky
- Resilient
Items – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
Colin has conducted a ghost séance to speak with his ancestors. An item like the Candle of Invocation seems suitable to replicate Colin speaking with his mother.
Nothing else comes to mind for me that would be thematic to the Colin character. Can you cast Sending in the comments to tell me if you think of anything?
Roleplaying – Colin Robinson in D&D 5e
You want to roleplay and flavor your Colin character at every chance. Your presence itself should evoke feelings of fatigue and boredom. Instead of describing your marvelous achievements as stunning displays of power, deploy some of Colin’s deadpan humor and empty cliches. Lock on to mundane things nobody cares about and describe your feelings towards them. Find boring gatherings and make them unbearably dull.
- “Working hard or hardly working?”
- “Do you have Updog?”
- “TGIF, am I right?”
- “Want to help me with today’s crossword puzzle?”
Abuse the Sending spell. Bother people like some kind of fantasy telemarketer.
Conclusion
I’m legitimately considering this as my next character. How would you play Colin Robinson (or any energy vampire) in D&D 5e? Cast Sending in the comments (but don’t be one of the 100 spam comments we get each week that drain my energy) to tell me how you’d play Colin.
Have a fun adventure this weekend, and take care of yourself.
